Embracing Impermanence
by WITHIN Meditation teacher Shundo David Haye
In Japan, contemplation of flowering cherry blossoms has been a central part of the culture for more than a thousand years. Every spring, people revel in the remarkable beauty, with the fully-understood subtext that the phenomenon is short-lived, and an appreciation of the mood that this invokes (“mono no aware”).
Other cultures have similar language to point to this feeling; poignancy in the face of the evanescence of things has been at the heart of poetry across centuries and continents - from Francois Villon, to Eihei Dogen, to A.E. Housman.
In Buddhism, the impermanent nature of all conditioned things is the first of the Three Marks of Existence. The second is the inherently unsatisfactory nature of being, like a wheel that does not run true and smooth (which is one meaning of the Sanskrit word dukkha usually used to describe this truth). The third is the lack of a permanent, unchanging self: you may have the conception of your singular identity, but if you cast your mind back to the past, you can hardly claim that this identity has been unchanging.
Humans suffer because we do not accept these realities, even though deep down we do know them to be true.
Throughout our lives we have a fixed notion of who we are, how we want things (and other people) to be. Perhaps we are striving toward a goal and believe that when we achieve it - be it a relationship, a job, a house or something else - we can somehow stop time and simply enjoy the fruits of our labor, with nothing changing to spoil it.
I remember being a little shocked when a dharma teacher once talked of us all being 'temporarily able-bodied.' I am thankful to have been healthy and active all my life so far, but I have learned to recognise the truth of that statement, and equally have had to learn to accept that I am not as fast or as supple as I once was, and, more crucially, that this is never going to come back in this lifetime.
At a certain point in our lives, we will all come face-to-face with the inexorable reality of sickness, old age and death. How do we meet this poignancy when it comes to our own lives and the lives of those we love?
A mindfulness practice brings us to close attention to, and intimacy with, the present moment. How does this square with the reality of impermanence? Just the same way as we can enjoy the cherry blossoms as they display their beauty, while accepting that they will not last long. Instead of simply taking a photo of the blossoms while thinking about the next thing and moving on, can we savor them deeply with all our senses and attention and then let them go without regret?
Can we fully embrace each moment of our life - no matter how pleasurable or painful? If there is one thing that mindfulness teaches us, it is that our thoughts, our moods, and our emotions arise and fall away maybe sooner, maybe later.
You can try this for yourself. Next time you find a strong emotion rising up, and you have the time and space to practice with it, feel it in your body. Can you identify a place where you feel it most strongly? Can you feel it without having to put a name to it? As you breathe and stay quiet, can you feel the intensity ebb away? Can you simply let it go?
We are all temporarily angry, temporarily grieving, temporarily giddy with joy, temporarily anxious, and then something else happens. Sometimes impermanence is to be welcomed, as one particular manifestation of our suffering dies away; in any case, we tend to develop a greater equanimity in the face of this constant roller-coaster of coming and going.
Accepting the reality of impermanence, to the extent that we can do so whole-heartedly, will bring us greater peace through our lives. As the words of a Zen ceremony reminds us "Mindful of transiency, pursue the path with diligence and care."
Shundo David Haye teaches regularly in our online studio - join him for a class this week! This fall, he’s leading in person classes every Monday at 8:30am, at The Ritz-Carlton, San Francisco - learn more and register here. He’s also written several posts for WITHIN’s blog - check out Shundo’s other posts!