by WITHIN Meditation teacher Kim Nicol

I’ve had an on-again, off-again relationship with Gratitude. There have been times when it felt easy and everywhere. I could feel gratitude for the sky, for each blade of grass, for every blessing in my life. I felt overflowing with gratitude for this life and the wild ride of being a human.

And there are other times when it feels impossible. When looking for Gratitude feels like an empty, intellectual exercise with no real spark. I just can’t feel it.

I see my students struggle with this, too, at times. They get judgmental and try to pressure themselves into gratitude. “I know I should feel grateful,” they say, “But right now I’m just really _______.”

Our practice in mindfulness and meditation is to become more present to our human experience. And that can include being present to our resistance, our judgment, and any challenge we face.

Gratitude is always available, even when we can’t find it.

You don’t have to force it.

Instead, you can think of Gratitude like a garden.

You are always invited into the garden. Even if it’s winter and the trees look dead, with no leaves. You bring your whole, human self into the garden. You don’t have to be in a good mood. You are welcomed, just as you are.

There is always something growing in your Gratitude garden – even if you can’t see it, even if the seeds are still underneath the soil and haven’t sprouted up into the sky yet.

Sometimes the Gratitude we find sounds like, “Even though my heart hurts right now, I’m grateful for the ground beneath my feet. The sky above my head. The tree outside my window.”

Bring compassion and kindness to your Gratitude practice.

When we do, we nurture the Gratitude that grows in our garden. And we become nourished by it.

Three Practice Tips

Here are three practical ways to grow your Gratitude garden.

Appreciative Inquiry. This is where you ask questions like: “What’s working? What support do I have? What worked out better than I expected? What strengths did I use?” You intentionally look for things to appreciate. This helps to counter the negativity bias that we have, where we tend to focus on problems or “not enoughness”.
Yes, And. This is a game from improv theater. Whatever you notice, say “Yes, and. . .” It’s a way to practice noticing, accepting, and moving towards gratitude in a way that invites playfulness and fun.
Go First. Think of someone in your life that you feel grateful for. Imagine they are sitting across from you, and tell them, “I’m grateful for you because. . .” or “I’m grateful for the way you _____ because ______.” If you wish to take it a step further, send them a text or email and tell them!

Kim Nicol teaches occasionally in our online studio - join her for a class! You can also read more from her on WITHIN’s blog - check out her other posts!

Gratitude Like A Garden