by WITHIN Meditation teacher Natasha Fong

Conflict, whether on the world stage or home front, is a highly stressful, anxiety-inducing time. When so much of our focus is commanded outwardly, it’s easy to forget that to influence what’s on the outside, you must care for what’s within. In sustained fight/flight mode, without the opportunity for self-replenishment, we unwittingly lose the ability to show up as our fullest self to address the challenges we face in the best possible way.

From a scientific perspective, when we perceive a threat, the amygdala (our reptilian brain) is activated. It releases a cascade of chemicals in the body. Stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood our system, preparing us for fight or flight.

The active amygdala also immediately shuts down the neural pathway to our prefrontal cortex, so we can become disoriented. Our rational brain is deactivated and this wipes our complex decision-making.

When the situation is not an immediate threat (like what our ancestors experienced in the jungle and bush when predators appeared), it is helpful to become aware of this natural physiological response occurring and find ways to calm the nervous system.

To position ourselves in the best state to handle conflict, how can we find ease in the face of challenges?

Here are some tips on finding ease in stressful times:

(1) Take deep, slow belly breaths

Intentional, deep breaths signal to the nervous system that we are not in fact in danger mode. It stimulates the vagus nerve and turns on our parasympathetic nervous system which triggers a relaxation response in our body. Fill the belly with breath and allow the exhale to be slow and longer than the inhale. Notice the calming effects of at least three of these breaths.

(2) Name it to tame it

Accepting the situation as stressful, and our reactions as a default nervous system response can help with managing our emotions. Finding a label for our emotions can help reduce stress. Noticing and naming helps create distance between the emotion and the experiencer of the emotion, so that we come back into control of our feelings rather than be swept up in them.

(3) Acknowledge what’s in your control, and grounding in that

By shifting our focus to what’s in our control, we come back into our own power. Grounding in simple things like our breath, tangible things around us that we can see, smell, touch, hear and taste, brings us back into equilibrium. This then allows the prefrontal cortex to come back online, reframes our perspective and brings us into a better state for complex decision making.

(4) Settle into a guided relaxation meditation

While there are many types of meditations that help with a variety of arenas in life, relaxation meditations help us come back into our bodies, calm the nervous system and invite ease in the moment. This style of meditation helps to dissolve the thinking mind into a state of sensory awareness and greater connection with the ease that’s already within us.

(5) Practice meditation regularly

Besides being a tool to draw on in times of stress, practicing meditation regularly helps us get better at noticing the physiological responses to stress. It helps us find ease, more easily. Much like training your muscles at the gym, training the mind through meditation allows us to modulate the “reptilian” response.

In times of conflict, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, disorientated, hopeless, that things are out of control. By drawing on these tools to find ease and come back into our own power, back into our fullest self, we can then position ourselves in the best state to address challenges that come our way.

Natasha is passionate about helping students find ease and create spaciousness to invite realistic perspectives in our demanding lives. She teaches regularly in our online meditation studio. Join her for a class this week!

Finding Ease in Times of Conflict