Kim Nicol Answers Common Questions About Mindfulness
We asked WITHIN teacher Kim Nicol to answer some of the most common questions students have about mindfulness. Here’s what she shared with us.
Q: What's the difference between meditation and mindfulness?
I think of it like this: meditation is something you do, and mindfulness is the way you do a thing.
So, for example, you wouldn’t meditate while driving a car -- but you could be mindful when driving your car.
I also like to think of meditation as a category of things, like the word “breakfast.” There are lots of breakfast traditions, and every part of the world has different ways to do it. You can have something sweet, like pancakes, or something savory, like an egg scramble. So there’s not a single “right” way to have breakfast, and all of it is nourishing!
Just like with meditation, you can do a seated practice or a walking meditation. You can meditate with a mantra, or do a body scan, or focus on the breath. There are many traditions, and ways to do it.
Mindfulness is about the quality of your attention. Are you in the present moment, or are you distracted? Are you filled with judgment, or is your mind curious and kind?
You’ve experienced mindfulness at different times in your life. If you’ve ever seen a baby or small child playing with something, you’ve seen this -- their attention is completely present with what they’re doing, and they’re curious and just deeply interested in what’s happening right now.
We all begin life that way!
Q: Can you take a mindful approach to anything, or just to specific parts of your life?
You can absolutely take a mindful approach to anything. It can be as simple as brushing your teeth, or as challenging as dealing with feelings of grief and loss.
Mindfulness asks that you stay here, in the moment, without trying to change things. When something good happens, being mindful means that you enjoy it fully -- without trying to make it permanent, and without worrying about how long it will last.
When something painful happens, being mindful means that you stay present with yourself in the pain -- without trying to numb or mask it, or avoid it.
Being a human means that life will always present you with both -- joy and pain.
Being mindful means that you experience it all, fully, without collapsing into mind drama about it.
This connects to a concept in Buddhist teachings, and really in many meditation traditions: samsara, the wheel of suffering that comes from clinging and aversion. When we try to cling to the good and avoid the bad, we create a constant suffering for ourselves.
Being mindful means being present, knowing that it’s all changing.
Q: But won’t that make me passive and aimless in life?
Quite the opposite! Instead of being reactive, you become responsive.
I think there’s a fear that acceptance makes us passive, and it’s not the case. It actually makes you more responsible, and more deliberate in your choices.
You become more empowered and courageous in your life. And, you enjoy it to the fullest!
It also means that you’ll be able to connect more deeply with others. Your relationships become more meaningful, and more honest.
Kim is passionate about helping students bring more mindfulness into their lives, too. She’s leading a course to help you Review & Release The Year, Mindfully that starts November 29th, and she teaches regularly at WITHIN. Join her for a class this week!