A Ritual to Review and Release the Year
Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash
by WITHIN Meditation teacher Tessa Jonson
After so much stagnation over the last few years, it doesn’t seem possible that 2022 is winding to a close already - maybe this year was sped up to balance the slower years out?
But of course, as Einstein noticed, “Time is relative. Its only worth depends upon what we do as it is passing.”
And that is exactly why now is the perfect time to take a pause and reflect on the last 12 months. To take stock of how we’ve spent our time, energy, and resources. To revel in our wins and to learn from our missteps.
Now does that sound like the makings of a year-end ritual or what?! Let’s dive in.
A Year End Ritual for Review and Release
I personally enjoy doing this on the Winter Solstice* on December 21. It feels auspicious to investigate the previous year at the same time that our planet is at the apex of its own annual journey. Whenever it works for you - but sometime before New Year’s Eve - I invite you to carve out 30 to 60 minutes on your calendar to spend time in journaling, reflection, and quiet contemplation.
Notice if you already had some loud thoughts or strong emotions come up. “I don’t have enough time for that!” “A ritual?? Sounds stupid.” “I’m going to carve out 2 hours to make it even more meaningful.” “I love journaling!” “I hate journaling!”
The mind is funny, isn’t it? It creates all kinds of opinions, rationalizations, and general chitter chatter especially when contemplating doing something we’ve never done before. Just notice what comes up for you; it doesn’t need to be altered. We’ll keep checking in with the judgements, aversions, and inclinations throughout the ritual.
You’ll need:
A journal or 3 pieces of paper and pen
Somewhere quiet and comfortable
An undisturbed 30-60 minutes
Any candles, incense, gemstones, music, hot drinks, etc that help make this ritual feel more special to you
(1) To begin, move your body in a way that helps you to settle.
Maybe some gentle neck stretches or a couple of yoga poses. Take your time to transition from the rest of your day into a place of more presence and ease.
(2) Now start to cultivate stillness by letting your body become still and focusing on your breath for a few minutes.
Simply counting your inhales and exhales down from 9 is a great way to get centered. Spend as much time in meditation as you need to let the thoughts slow down and to shift into receptivity.
(3) When the time is right, take out your paper and pen. At the top of the page, write “In 2022, I am proud of myself for…” and start listing every ending you can think of to finish that sentence.
Notice if you have some resistance to this - do your thoughts go negative, saying “I didn’t do anything I’m proud of. This year sucked.” or “Nothing I did deserves recognition. It wasn’t as good as what she did.” This is a very natural response so try not to judge yourself!
Instead, can you offer yourself a kind word of gentle encouragement? “Wowza, this is tougher than I realized! I’m going to take a break and try again later.” or “It’s okay to feel this way, but I choose to focus instead on finding something I am proud of.”
Give yourself permission to write down everything from your tiniest good deed like “buying my coworker a coffee” to a major life decision, such as “going back to school.” It all counts!
When your pen slows down, keep searching for more. Ask yourself “What else am I proud of myself for?” until you have at least 20 answers.
(4) Next, on the top of a new page, write “In 2022, the biggest missteps I took are…” and list 3-5 mistakes that were made.
No need to dwell here, just list the first things that come to mind that you maybe wish had gone differently.
Don’t list more than 5 and take note if this list comes to you much more easefully. It probably will because our brains have evolved to register and remember negative experiences much more readily than positive ones (aka the negativity bias). This kept our ancestors alive by helping them to remember which berries were poisonous and where the tigers lived, but in modern times, is something we need to balance out by spending intentional time focusing on the positives. More on that in Step 8.
(5) After the missteps are listed, lower on the page write the new heading of “From these experiences, I learned…” and write down what you learned from those challenges.
Did they turn out to be important somehow?
Did they lead to a new understanding or to better communication? To something you’re proud of?
Or maybe you learned to simply never do that again. It still counts!
Notice these connections and overlaps as you reflect.
(6) Finally, on the top of a new page, create a master list with the heading of “The Top 10 Things That Made Me Better in 2022”.
Reread the first list of the things you are proud of and the last list of things you’ve learned and wittle it down.
Begin starring or circling things that give you a big emotional response. That feel important. That shifted the needle in moving you toward the person you want to become.
Or maybe the big emotion that comes up is embarrassment about owning something you’re proud of or an imposter syndrome feeling of “who am I to say that about myself”.
Bring awareness to these equally powerful emotions and check within yourself to see if maybe these points belong at the very top of your list..!
(7) Also, see if any themes develop.
For example, maybe “teaching myself accounting software”, “speaking at a conference”, and “learned to navigate a disgruntled employee” could all be summed up as “Stepping into my power as a business owner”. Keep consolidating and reorganizing until you have your 10 things.
(8) Once the Top 10 master list is created, set the other lists aside and out of view.
In Hardwiring Happiness, Rick Hansen shared “Your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones…By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience—even the comfort in a single breath—you’ll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure.”
So with that in mind, reread your list. Spend at least 30 seconds on each point to give you time to generate and bask in the positive emotions!
For example, with “Stepping into my power as a business owner,” feel the pride, the dedication, the satisfaction, the prosperity, the freedom, and the connections you’ve cultivated.
Let yourself be filled up, immersed in all that goodness. Notice if there is a nagging voice in your head saying mean, unhelpful, or criticizing things. You can gently or firmly say to this voice “I hear you, but I’m not listening to you. I’m busy soaking up my awesomeness right now.”
(9) Repeat with each point.
With truly as much enthusiasm as you can muster, revel in how much you’ve learned over the last year and how good you feel about yourself right now.
Sit with this feeling for as long as you like, breathing it in and letting it change you.
(10) To conclude the ritual, you might like to put your Top 10 list somewhere that you’ll see often so it can remind you of how far you’ve come and inspire you to keep going!
With the other 3 lists, feel free to tear them up or burn them in a safe way to really let it all go and create space for the new year ahead.
I hope this ritual brings you feelings of gratification, fulfillment, and resolution - but do know that it may take a few attempts before you’re able to fully appreciate your journey over the last year. I hope that by looking back, you find more confidence and clarity to take with you moving forward.
*December 21 is the Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, and the Summer Solstice in the Southern Hemisphere.
Tessa teaches regularly in WITHIN Meditation’s online studio. Join her for a class this week!